Our Ethiopian Adoption Journey

virginie broudin

2010-10-04T05:43:00.001-04:00

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pascaline lautour

2010-10-04T05:41:00.001-04:00

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Field day and girls new bedroom

2010-07-14T22:32:00.002-04:00

Pics, pics, pics

2010-07-14T22:26:00.001-04:00

Father/Daughter dance

2010-04-07T09:02:00.001-04:00

Beautiful girls!

2009-11-29T22:35:00.001-05:00

Meeting the kids for the first time

2009-11-29T21:32:00.002-05:00

Finally I have gotten the videos off our camera and onto the computer. This is the first meeting of the kids as they jumped into the van!

Now take a look at how active our children were (and STILL are!) - this was after about one month home.

2009-10-23T13:41:00.001-04:00

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A LONGGGGGG overdue update...in words this time!

2009-04-08T10:55:00.003-04:00

Yes, it has been, ummmm 5 months since I have taken the time to write. Seems like posting pics is a little more doable but I know everyone is wondering how we are REALLY doing. So here goes.

Let me just say, the winter was BRUTAL. Why do we live here? I swear if I never see another snowflake or hear the words "snow day" again in all my life it'll be too soon. February vacation nearly did me in. Four 6-8 year old very active kids who don't all speak the same language and 3 of which have never spent a full day indoors in all of their lives...you get the picture.

But it is all like a bad dream now I guess. Spring has sprung and things are getting better. I think it was about a couple months ago that Ken and I started to feel a bit more relaxed around here. The kids stopped speaking Amharic with each other completely around that time and they make strides in their English daily. Samira has been the slowest but when she started to put full sentences together they were very well done! She made us laugh the first time she said very clearly and enthusiastically "This is Awesome!" Haragwin is still a total chatter box and speaks English the best and Yohannes talks a lot but much of the time I can't tell what he is saying! It is very much like having 3 year olds - a million questions a day and always "why?" Tough to explain things when you know they don't grasp more than 50-75% of what you are saying and since they didn't grow up in this country they have very few points of reference. We're still very anxious to be able to understand each other completely.

It has been nice to see the sibling relationships develop. Yohannes and Lucas are playing together more and more every week and Samira has finally warmed up to Lucas too. They still all fight like cats and dogs but it is nice to see them play together too. We've been playing a lot of UNO together as a family and that's been fun. There are still daily problems with sharing and taking turns and playing nicely but at least (most days) no one is getting hit!

School is going pretty well. Samira is doing great (as is Lucas of course). She is right on target academically and is very well behaved at school. Haragwin has made great strides at school in her behavior. It still isn't problem free but she's come a long way. Yohannes is still a rollercoaster ride at school. Some weeks are good, some aren't. We are pursuing more services and help for Haragwin and Yohannes, it looks like they are going to need it.

The kids continue to bond with us and us with them. Yohannes is our greatest challenge at home and we have to work extra hard with him. They are grieving the loss of their life in Ethiopia and talk about it daily but they like their life here too - so it is a tug of war for them I am sure. Haragwin often talks about wanting to go back, but wanting me to come with her.

We were lucky enough to be able to go on vacation in Florida at my parents/sister's house. It was a much needed break and the weather was beautiful! The kids had a great time and had a hard time coming back to the cold. They say - "Ethiopia hot, Florida hot, America no hot!" (they think where we live is "america" but Florida isn't!)

The pics below of the girls in dresses were from the Father/Daughter dance. It was a proud moment for mom - they were so beautiful!

So we are settling in and becoming a family. It has been a tough road and we still have a long way to go but I am confident we will get there!

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Getting the Christmas tree!

2008-11-29T20:44:00.002-05:00

We had a great brunch at my sister Michelle's house with lots of friends before going to get the tree. The kids were so excited to go get the Christmas tree! Haragwin and Lucas got into it the most - it was fun to see her excitement for this new experience. Yohannes and Samira helped to put some ornaments on the tree too!

Pool fun!

2008-11-29T20:37:00.002-05:00

Thank goodness for the pool! We joined the YMCA and we are loving having swim time and swimming lessons. It has been great for all of them...they LOVE the water and have NO fear!!

More birthday...

2008-11-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

Birthday Party!!!

2008-11-29T20:28:00.002-05:00

This year we decided to celebrate all the kids birthdays together since 3 of them fall in Oct. and Nov. and one was back in the summer when they kids were still in Ethiopia. It was fun and they all had a great time!

Reflections on nearly 2 months

2008-10-22T20:18:00.002-04:00

It has been a while since I've made the time to write my thoughts on how things are going with our family. It has been an eventful and tiring couple of months to say the least. It is difficult to put any of it into words really.

I guess I'll tackle each kid individually.

Samira - at night when I check on all the kids before going to bed I often whisper goodnight using a nickname for them...Samira is sweetpea. She really is a sweet child but definitely the most difficult to get to know. She is quite introverted by nature (like her mom!) and is content to stay to herself. If it wasn't for Yohannes and Haragwin, we'd hardly know who she is deep down inside. She is going to school all day now and is doing wonderfully. She really rolls with the punches and seems to be very comfortable in her own skin, is very grounded and loves to laugh. Physically she is incredibly coordinated and we often comment about her natural athletic ability. She can also be stubborn and defiant, but in a quiet way and is pretty easily convinced to come around. Some of my most satisfying times are when she climbs in bed in the morning and snuggles with me and enthusiastically hugs and kisses me before bed at night. Samira is learning more English although she is the least willing to show us - I think we'll just wake up one morning and she'll be speaking perfect English and we'll wonder where the heck that came from!!!

Yohannes - oh boy! He's "big guy". I often call him my Jekyll and Hyde. A smile that will melt your heart and a wise guy attitude that make you want to ... well you know. He craves attention and will do almost anything to get it, he is extremely active and gets pretty crazy, often falling and hurting himself somehow. He has come along way and is less aggressive but still sees the time out chair at least once daily. He's like a little parrot and will repeat almost anything we say so his English is coming along well. Yohannes is doing well at school - he goes for half a day still but may start going longer pretty soon. He and Lucas aren't yet the brothers I imagined and hoped they would be but they are getting better slowly. Hopefully once they can speak the same language, they will play together better. Since they are only a year apart, it is a bit too close for the "big brother" thing Lucas was hoping for. I have to work harder with Yohannes to bond with him but taking time to hug and kiss him really goes a long way.

Haragwin (or as she will correct us - Ha-rrrrre-go-win. Man can they roll those "r's"!) She is "princess" in the late night hours. In many ways the most challenging child of the three but also the most funny and definitely the most personable and charismatic. She talks non-stop (LOUDLY), gets into EVERYONE's business, won't take "no" for an answer and wants to be in charge of everything. But she is a real comedian, is already telling us stories of her life through her limited English and dynamic facial expressions and incredible miming ability, and is attaching to us well. School has been more of a struggle for her since she likes to run the show and is pretty nervous and anxious about most things, but she is doing better. She is also going for a half day and probably will for some time (she is in the first grade since she is 8 but has not had any schooling previously). She is doing the best at picking up English, probably because she talks so much and isn't shy about trying and I often ask her to help me understand what her brother or sister are saying.

Lucas - "G-Boo" in the late night hours (who knows how I ever arrived at that one!). He is doing pretty well in all this chaos. It has been difficult for him in a lot of ways and we do have to keep reminding ourselves that he is only "almost 7". But overall I would say he is thrilled to have a brother and 2 sisters. He isn't alone anymore and although there is much more fighting around here, there is also much more fun and laughing too. He and Haragwin have really taken to each other and play the most together even though they probably fight the most too. They are constantly teasing each other. Lucas took the news that she is 8 years old pretty well.

So they are all doing as well as can be expected I guess you could say. We are learning to be a family of six. I am learning how to feed a family of this size (yes, I am constantly in the kitchen), keep up with the laundry and house cleaning (what am I going to do when mom and dad go to Florida for six months?!?), etc. The sibling fighting is probably the most difficult aspect to take in all of this but SLOWLY they are learning to use their words with each other, to share and I know eventually we will get there. We are definitely still in the trenches and have a long way to go but from time to time we get a glimpse of the good that is in store for us.

Thanks to everyone who is thinking about us and praying for us - we are so grateful!

Weekend Fun

2008-10-13T20:48:00.001-04:00

What beautiful weather we had for Columbus Day weekend! We went trick or treating at our camp and carved pumpkins at home! Lots of new experiences for the kids!

Halloween comes early around here!

2008-10-13T20:32:00.003-04:00

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2008-10-05T22:44:00.000-04:00

2008-10-05T22:40:00.000-04:00

2 weeks today

2008-09-14T20:39:00.004-04:00

Today marks two weeks since we've met our children and a little over a week since they have been home. This week was better - they are settling in and aren't into as much stuff as they were the first couple days. We even got out to the park a couple times this week (I had reinforcements of course - thanks mom, dad, Allison and Erika!).

The children seem to be understanding more of what we say, and they continue to show good signs of attachment. We are learning more and more about their personalities and they are certainly all unique individuals.

Ken and I have gotten more sleep, although we were each sick for one day this past week. Just pure exhaustion I'm sure. We've actually spent some time at home without help from others which feels like a step in the right direction.

We continue to deal with aggression and some wild behavior, but we have seen some really positive things from the kids as well like empathy, compassion, self control, affection, lots of laughing, etc. Lucas is getting more and more comfortable with his new siblings and they are starting to play together more and more.

We got out to the beach yesterday for a couple hours and it was great fun to see the kids' reactions to the ocean. They loved the water and it didn't phase them at all to fall in and even under the water (Lucas would be crying if he fell under!) It was a good trip although lots of work with packing, unpacking, bathroom breaks, showers once we were home, etc.

Here are a couple pics from the beginning of our first week with the kids. I still don't have all the pictures downloaded or video, but here are a couple to hold you over.

Here is a picture at KVI when we first met the kids... and then at the Thomas Center later on...

Embassy day, we actually got them showered and dressed up!

And here with some of the guest house staff...

What a ride!

2008-09-07T20:00:00.002-04:00

Well I can't believe I finally can sit at the computer and write. The past week since we picked up our children has been a whirl wind. It has probably been the most difficult time of our lives but it is getting better each day. We are so glad to be home! The kids are just about on our time now, which makes it a little easier, and when I finally catch up on sleep, things will get much better I'm sure.

They are very active kids and we are constantly running, having to watch them every minute of every day. It is very much like having 3 two year olds in the house. Having only one child before, I certainly am not used to the fighting and sibling rivalry. We are playing referee constantly, trying to teach them that punching is not acceptable!

Lucas is doing okay - it is tough to get a sibling, let alone 3 like this! He does seem to be enjoying having them around, but it'll take time for them to all bond.

Unfortunately my computer is being worked on so you'll have to wait a bit longer for pictures and video, but we have plenty and will post them as soon as we can.

Well, I'm falling asleep at the computer (yea, it is 8:10) so I'll try to write more tomorrow.

We're here!

2008-09-01T10:00:00.001-04:00

We made it! And I wish I could write for a long time, but I've got 3 kids that don't stop! Three adults is not nearly enough!

Anyways, we are safe, healthy and getting to know our children. We've had an easier time bonding with the 2 youngest, which is to be expected.

We are anxious to be home away from high balconies (if you know what I mean!).

Love to everyone,

~Kari

We're Off!

2008-08-29T08:48:00.001-04:00

The day has finally arrived! We're packed and ready to go. Look for updates over the next few days!

I'm back (to blogging that is!)

2008-08-26T22:31:00.004-04:00

Oh so much to say...

Sorry to have dropped off the face of the planet for a while. Where to begin...

We, long ago (it seems), identified 3 children who we would like to adopt (see last post). Through many emotional ups and downs over the past several LONG months, we actually got the referral documents (May 18th), accepted them officially (May 19th), waited and waited and waited, got court dates (July 31st and August 1st), had a postponed court date, made it through court for our daughter Samira on August 1st, waited 5 agonizing days, and found out our other 2 children, Yohannes and Haragwin, made it through court on August 6th, the day before the Ethiopian courts closed for a 2 month break! Then, we waited some more to FINALLY find out that we can travel on August 29th to pick up our babies!!!!!

And here they are -

Introducing...

from left to right, Yohannes (4), Haragwin (6), and Samira (5).

So, that was the cliff notes version of our last 4 months! We leave for Ethiopia in 3 days and I will hopefully be posting regularly during our trip and from here on out. So please follow along with us on our journey to become a family of six. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers for a safe journey. Thanks to everyone for the support you've shown over the past 15 months!

So much to update...

2008-04-27T21:37:00.002-04:00

Well, it has been so long since I posted. The last month and a half has been eventful and an emotional roller coaster. At the end of February, we decided to open up our request to include 2 unrelated children. This required getting together a new dossier and getting several documents updated or redone. I quickly pulled that all together. Then we found out our agency was going to begin working with an organization called AWOP - African Widows and Orphans Project - who deals mostly with older children and sibling groups. We checked out the photolisting of waiting children and did not find any that met our criteria.

A week or two later, new children were added to the photolist. We checked it out to find a group of children who we feel are meant to be our children. They are a brother who is 4, a sister who is 5 and a female cousin who is also 5! We have been anxiously (and not so patiently) waiting for the referral documents so that we can officially accept them and start moving towards a court date. We are praying that we can have them home by this summer, before the court closures in Ethiopia (they close for about 2 months in August and September).

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers that this process will move quickly and that we can have them home in July or August!

Ughhh...the wait is killing me!

2008-02-25T21:46:00.002-05:00

We received word that our agency is getting a group of referrals last week and just heard today that it'll be another week before they are given out because they are waiting on some medical reports. I have to admit, I am growing impatient!! I pray that our children are among this group. Keep your fingers crossed for us!!!

The "official" wait begins...

2007-11-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

The dossier is off to Ethiopia and now we REALLY are just waiting. I'm relieved to have the paperwork out of our hands, but I think that having nothing to do (in regards to the adoption) makes the wait seem longer.

We continue to talk with Lucas about the impending changes in our family but I really don't think he gets it. It seems as though he is unsure what this is all going to mean for him. I can't say I blame him, I don't think any of us can imagine how our lives are going to change within a matter of months.

We still wrestle daily with the decision to bring him with us or not. A big part of me says how can we possibly not have him with us from the moment we meet our new family members? He is turning 6 this month and he is old enough to understand and be part of the whole process. I've been studying the whole vaccination issue and looking into homeopathic alternatives. I think we will go ahead and get him a passport just in case.

Happenings...

2007-10-25T12:31:00.000-04:00

It's been a short time since our last post but a few exciting things have happened. We waited one day short of 2 weeks for our I-171H to arrive. I quickly got everything together and sent the dossier off to the courier to be brought to Washington D.C. for the authentication process. That was one week ago and I just got a call from the post office saying they had an express mail package from The Assistant Stork (our courier service)! So it is back and I'm on my way to pick it up now! I have a bunch of copies to be made and notarized and then it is off to our agency and then off to Ethiopia!! We will "officially" be waiting - hopefully not for long!!!

YEAH!!!!

Slowly it goes...

2007-10-08T15:33:00.001-04:00

Well, the paper-chase is a slow one. We finally had our appointment for our fingerprinting last week, October 3rd. According to the woman who did the prints, we should have to wait about 2-3 weeks to get the final piece of paper that we are waiting for - the I-171H. Once that is in my hands, there are copies to be made and certified, and then off to Washington D.C. the dossier goes to be authenticated! That process takes about two weeks, and then FINALLY we get to send it all to our agency so they can send it to Ethiopia! So I would say we are about a month away from having the dossier in Ethiopia.

We could get a referral any time now. Everyday we wonder when we will hear who are children are, what their names are, what they look like and what they've experienced in their short lives. Everything seems more real as each day passes. Luckily we stay busy and times goes so fast. Before we know it we will be a family of five!

Why Ethiopia?

2007-09-14T09:48:00.000-04:00

I think often times when a couple decides to adopt outside of their country, there are a lot of questions from friends, family and acquaintances as to why. Indeed it is one of the first questions that we are asked when we tell people that we are adopting from Ethiopia.

Ken and I always knew that if we were to adopt, it would be internationally. We at first considered China. As we looked into this program, over a period of time, we began to see the wait times to receive a referral of a child getting longer and longer. Eventually, it appeared as though the adoption process could take up to 3 years. Wanting Lucas to have siblings much quicker than that, we ruled out China.

There are so many factors that you take into account when you choose a country to adopt from. We knew that we wanted to make the trip to pick up our new children so that we could see for ourselves their country and possibly any living birth relatives. Having Lucas at home, we did not want to have to stay in the country for extended periods of time, nor did we want to make more than one trip. These factors ruled out some other countries.

Other factors such as age of children available, health of children, how they are taken care of once they are orphaned, speed of the adoption process, etc. all played into our decision.

But I guess it was when we met two young children at Lucas' preschool that had recently been adopted from Ethiopia, that the seeds were planted for OUR eventual Ethiopian adoption. These children came to the United States as older children (anyone older than 2 is considered an "older" child in the adoption world) and I watched as they seemed to adjust beautifully. They are beautiful children. As Ken watched Lucas playing with one of the children, I think something inside of him just knew. I came around to "knowing" later than that after reading the experiences of others who have been to Ethiopia and adopted from this country. What seems to be the overall theme is the beauty of the Ethiopian people, their love for their children and the spirit that shows in their eyes. When you look at what has happened in their country and what they have experienced as a collective culture, you just know that these are special people and special children.

So you can understand the situation in Ethiopia, here are a few of the stats:
One in ten children die before their first birthday• One in six children die before their fifth birthday• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition• The median age in Ethiopia is 17.8 years• 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world)• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia.• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa• In the 90s the population (3%) grew faster than food production (2.2%)• Drought struck the country from 2000-2002 (first year no crops, second year no seeds, third year no animals)• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.• Coffee prices (Ethiopia’s only major export) fell 40-60% from 1998-2002.• Ethiopia’s doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000.• In 1993, after 30 long years of war, Eritrea broke from Ethiopia and became an independent nation leaving Ethiopia landlocked without any major seafaring ports.

We are not looking to "save" children from Ethiopia as I believe that the spirit endures all. But we are a family who wants more children to love, and there are so many children in Ethiopia who would love a family to love them. We are a match made in heaven.

Yard Sale Success!

2007-09-06T22:44:00.000-04:00

Well, the yard sale was a true success! Thanks to everyone who donated items for the yard sale - it helped us raise nearly $3000! Special thanks go out to our parents who also lent their time and energy helping us on the day before and of the sale lugging all that stuff to the yard sale location. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful supportive parents, friends, and other family members.

The home study has been sent over to our agency, Children's House International and the CIS office so we are anxiously awaiting our appointment for fingerprinting to get that ball rolling...

Still lots of paperwork to gather but now that Lucas is in school all day (what a big boy!), I have more time to focus on all the many things that need to get done!

Time flys...

2007-08-23T21:20:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it has been nearly a month since my first post. I hope the time between now and when our children are home flies that quickly!

Well, we have now completed our homestudy which went very well. I want to extend a sincere thank you to those friends who wrote letters of reference for us - you all completed them so quickly - it is greatly appreciated. I expect to receive our copies of the homestudy by Monday. I will be able to send one in to CIS to get the process rolling so that we can get our I-171H - which I expect to be the longest part of the paperwork collection for the dossier. Once our agency receives our homestudy, I believe we could receive a referral if children are found that match what we have asked for. We are requesting a sibling pair between the ages of 1 and 5 - one boy (hopefully the older of the two) and one girl.

It is so strange to sit and wonder what our children look like, what their names are and how old they are. It is even more strange to think about the fact that they are already here, living in Ethiopia, living an experience we can barely comprehend. It is an exciting time!

Ken and I are busy planning some fund raisers to help cover the costs of the adoption. We will be having a yard sale on Labor Day weekend and we have already received some very generous donations for that. Thank you! Our friend Gwen has also recently spoken to a well known local artist about doing a benefit concert - though it is not solidified, it is an exciting possibility. Thank you Gwen! All ideas are welcome!

Our journey begins...

2007-07-23T19:24:00.000-04:00

Welcome to our family adoption blog. I have gotten so much value from reading the adoption experiences of others that I wanted to be able to give back in some way. We have been on the journey towards adoption for many years and the time has finally come. We have officially begun the process, as both our applications for the home study agency and the adoption agency are in and we are in the "paper chase" phase of the process. We look forward to sharing the process with family and friends and will keep you as informed as you'd like to be through this blog. Thank you for being with us on our journey!